For my friend Brad, the newest Simpsons Movie Trailer. Spider Pig, hehe. And get yourself to The Simpsons Movie Website pronto. Be sure to play with the Wrecking Ball of Death. This is what I have been doing for the last hour. Hey, I'm not proud. D'oh!
Yesterday, The SO had his Court Ordered mediation with the ex-wife regarding the custody battle they have been fighting since she buggered off and left the kids back in March.
It went as well as we expected, as in it was dead in the water pretty much from the get-go. They just couldn't agree; the main sticking point (to me) being she doesn't think there's anything wrong with leaving the kids alone at home, for as long as she wants, whenever she wants. As a matter of fact, she told The SO that the kids were alone at home as they spoke (she has them for the week). Let me remind you that they are 13 and 8 - AND that she is a licensed psychologist. Jesus, THIS is the caliber of person we leave our poor, tortured, psychotically unstable people in the care of? It makes me afraid for our society in general.
She is leaving them at home alone for up to 9 and 10 hours a stretch - we're not talking dashing to the store for a pint of milk here. She knows she could drop them off at our house (not fifteen minutes away from her work) but she adamantly refuses to. She would rather they spend all day locked up in her ratty little two-bedroom apartment. On advice from our lawyer, we have to live with it for now. It is totally maddening, and that is the understatement of the year. My guess is that she would prefer the children suffer if for no other reason than it upsets The SO.
You would think that having recently regained visitation, she would NOT leave them alone. You know, just to try and look good in the face of the already legally upheld charge of abandonment. But nooooooo, she knows best for her kids! She's a psychologist!
So, it's looking like a full-blown court battle is brewing in the next couple of months. To be honest, I can't wait to hear what she has to say for herself. It will undoubtedly prove to be fascinating, yet tragic. I just hope the Judge sees through her academic credentials and recognizes a full-blown selfish loonie when he sees one.
YouTube strikes again!
I loved this video, it totally reminded me of being a teenager in the 80's and loving the newfangled "rap music" that was taking over the airwaves. It's definitely a throwback to an earlier time.
Plus, the dance is so simple, even white people can do it! Love that little shuffle and pirouette! I can totally imagine some drunk boss at a company party doing this and thinking he's cool.
I think it's always good fun to irritate your kids; it is a proven fact that one of the joys of having them is that you can a) make them get you a beer and b) get on their nerves whenever you can.
It's remarkably easy! I have put together an illustration to show you how!
Step One:
Hear noisy commotion from children playing outside; screeches of "stop TOUCHING me" or "it's MY turn" usually means the game is afoot. Get ready!
In today's example, it was The Princess who was the instigator, yet all three of them get told off soundly for fighting. The Princess runs off in a huff, leaving the other two unhappy at the unfairness of it all. Bonus points for making all three mad. Well done!
Step Two:
Find the child who was in trouble; she is now sulking and hiding under a towel. Tell her off again for being a moody cow. Get no response. Deliver a lecture on being nice to your sisters. Get no response. Begin to laugh uproariously at the fact that your child is a HUGE drama queen and warn her that you will take her picture if she doesn't shake it off. Get no response. Take her picture.
You have to be quick for the next bit, it will happen in an instant.
Step Three:
The child whirls into action, flinging off her towel and screaming "Mommy" in the same tone of voice I imagine Britney uses to address those pesky paparazzi. Quickly snap another picture of glaring child and run away.
Once the child has calmed down somewhat, make her go and get you a beer. This ensures that a) she knows who is boss and b) that you, of course, get a beer.
Last year, we went to the beach with a couple of friends, George and Sean. George had a new digital camera that The SO could NOT leave alone the ENTIRE time we were there. He spent hours taking pictures, clicking away, not caring that he was seriously getting on my nerves. Finally, I snapped, bent over and mooned him, saying "take a picture of THIS then, dammit". Which he duly did. Which I duly forgot about until a few days ago.
The SO is sitting at his computer and gets an IM from Sean. A couple of seconds later, he starts hooting and shouts at me "YOU ARE SOOOOO OWNED". I take a look and what do you think I see? Ah yes, lovely, there's my ass smiling at me from Sean's little picture id window.
Oh, hahahaha.
The SO and Sean then spent quite some internet time enjoying my humiliation and generally laughing at me. It turns out that George had very kindly emailed the photo to him (and God knows where else he's sent it). I shall not post it here, as it's not a very flattering shot. Dimples are made for the face, not the rear-end.
My mother walked by to see what the fuss was about; she took one look, said "it's your own fault" and laughed her head off. But then again, she's still mad at me for posting about her poo I think.
That's what friends are for, eh? No worries, I will be discussing George and Sean in due time.
Yep, all in due time .....
Overheard at our Country Club swimming pool yesterday .....
Immaculately coiffed and painted mom #1:
"Well, I just don't know about her. The last time we had the Daughters* at her house, she served deviled eggs in a deep dish ..." (rolls her eyes)
Immaculately coiffed and painted mom #2:
(In amazement) "Good Lord! No egg tray plate?"
*Daughters is in reference to the Daughters of the American Revolution. A hoity-toity group of people, if you ask me. But they are right, you should NEVER serve deviled eggs in a deep dish. I'm betting the lady in question is a Yankee.
I had a dream last night that was still taking that test. That's some serious test anxiety, isn't it?
I thought I had mentioned why I was doing all this, but I guess I didn't; the test is the Praxis II, which you have to take to get a teaching certification. The one I took was Language Arts content knowledge. 139 multiple questions on grammar, compositional rhetoric, educational theory, writing and novels. It also has two essay questions.
For example:
Just back from the test - it was pretty hard. Much harder than it should have been that early in the a.m., in my opinion.
My gut feeling is that it will be touch and go if I pass or not, we'll see.
Not ONE of the novels I studied was asked about, but not to worry because instead they asked me about shite I'd never heard of! That's always a good feeling!
I'm exhausted now and going to lay down.
My test is tomorrow at 7.30 am. Why the hell they have to start these things at such an ungodly hour on a Saturday is beyond me. This means I have to be up at 5.30am to get there on time, which makes me very sad in the face.
I have studied and studied and still don't feel like I'm very prepared. Think about me when you wake up, I need the help!
Not blogging until after the weekend, I have too much studying to do!
I feel better after some intense reviewing this past week; I have realized that I know more than I thought I did, but I'm panicking a little about one portion of the upcoming test. I am spending the last week hammering this one section. So far it has proven to be extremely tedious, but oh well.....
Keep you posted!
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