It's Britney Ya'll!

Maybe it's another side-effect of coming off the Lexapro, but I find myself compelled to watch Britney Spears open the MTV music awards. I'm thinking I should have just gotten a prescription for Ambien instead. Okay, here she comes, shush!
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Wow. Okay, first impressions .....

It's a sucky song.

Oye vey! A young lady who had two children in rapid succession should not, I repeat, NOT squeeze herself into a tiny little bikini thingie unless she has been working out something other than her drinking arm. Yeesh. And please, skip the calf-high leather boots if you have calf fat. I'm just saying.

Lipsynching is hard, ya'll! It must be, as she just quit doing it towards the end of the song, and didn't even bother to pretend after that. Oh, she was moving her lips, but that was to count her "dance" steps. She looks bored/doped out of her skull, like some kind of low-end stripper from the local 'Doll House' that's WAY too close to a military base.

Pole dancers are soooo 2004.

Grabbing random dancer guy's crotch is no longer shocking; I believe it's actually her way of asking somebody on a date these days. I predict she will marry him in a couple of months.

I am relieved to see that - for once - she is not masticating a huge wad of gum like some kind of lobotomized cow.

Whew, it's over.

I don't think this is going to be the big comeback she was hoping for; I bet you a dollar to one of the dozen or so doughnuts she must have scoffed before taking the stage that she will be getting up to no good later tonight. What happens to Britney in Vegas, stays in the headlines!

Please god, let her be wearing underwear this time.

BIG Love

My new fave TV show is HBO's Big Love. If you haven't heard of it, it's about a Mormon polygamist family in Utah trying to "pass" in normal monogamistical society. It stars Bill Paxton as the "Patriarch" who is living "The Principle" with his three hot wives, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny and Ginnifer Goodwin. It's produced by Tom Hanks, so I guess he decided having three hot wives makes polygamy more TV viewer friendly. All the documentaries I've ever seen about polygamy led me to believe that the women involved were really, REALLY not that hot, but who's gonna argue with the Hankster?

So, what does "living the principle" mean? I dunno for sure, but they talk about it all the time on the show with very serious spiritual frowny faces. My own personal knowledge of Mormons is limited to one ubernerd guy I met many years ago who wore funny Mormon underwear, as pictured here.** From what I understand, my posting this picture is an affront to Mormons everywhere, so if you are Mormon and offended, please keep your pants on and try to forgive me.

It doesn't shy away from depicting the more controversial polygamy "compounds" that house hundreds of families living in poverty and on welfare, nor does it ignore the child abuse that goes on in some of those places. But it does offer "their" side of the story, which is quite fascinating to me.

The Husband recently declared, after watching one episode of Bill Paxton bonking all three of the "sister-wives" in the same day (but not at the same time, for that is not Godly) that, yes indeedy, he too could contemplate having multiple wives! Then I pointed out that if he thought one pissed off woman was bad, imagine three or four all ganged up on his sorry ass, and he appeared to change his mind.

But I do find it extremely amusing that in the midst of all the recent Republican political posturing about the "sanctity" of one woman/one man marriage, that this show is so popular. I think that is another sign that your average American really doesn't care who you marry, as long as you get married and are as miserable as the rest of us, dammit.

**I never saw the underwear, he just described it. Get your mind out of the gutter!

He's Free

I am sad to see that the actor John Inman has passed away. For those of you that don't know who he is, he was the very camp Mr. Humphries in 'Are You Being Served', an iconic BBC comedy that is STILL on the schedules of PBS here in America as we speak. This program, along with Benny Hill, Dr. Who, Keeping Up Appearances, and Monty Python, has been the basis of what every Yank thinks they know about the UK for the last thirty years.

I have a special place in my heart for John Inman. When I was a celebrity booker for BBC shows (back in my previous non-Southern Comfort life), he was a great 'go-to' guy. He would sometimes be available to appear if someone dropped out of a show, and he always delivered the goods; he was a booker's best friend. He was also a genuinely funny and nice person, which is quite rare in the world of the business they call show.

One of my absolute favorite television memories is all John Inman. He had filled in a spot for me at the last minute on a panel show, whose host had a reputation as a bit of a pompous ass. After we had finished the taping, I herded my celebs back to the Green Room for drinks and snacks. Once there, we were to wait for The Host to arrive so he could join in the fun and bask in their reflected glory. Well, the guy took his own sweet time about it, resulting in a few snarky comments being made about his tardiness (don't ever piss off a bunch of luvvies). Even later still, after a few more glasses of cheap BBC plonk were consumed, things got a little bit merry.

John decided that we (me and the other five stars of stage and screen who were present) would turn off all the lights and hide in the coat closet, while he would leave a note that said, "Dear ___. The show was dreadful. Oh dear, nevermind. We're off!". I have an extremely fond recollection of being smushed up against Neil Morrissey (mmmm, he is yummy) while we all tried to stifle our giggles as the Host blundered into the darkened room, read the note, furiously muttered "bloody hell", and turned heel to leave looking absolutely thunderous.

At that point, John leapt out of the closet, shouting "I'm Free!" (his catch-phrase from his show) and we all tumbled out after him, shrieking with laughter. People actually fell down on the floor from laughing so hard, although the copious amounts of Pinot Grigio consumed probably helped in that respect. The Host had to take it like a good sport, which really pissed him off, and totally made my night. He was always prompt about getting to the Green Room after that though.

My condolences to his partner of thirty years, Ron Lynch. He will be missed.

Rome

No time for blogging tonight, a new episode of Rome is on. I love this show, it's like watching Eastenders B.C. All the actors are English and, bizarrely, most have cockney accents.

"Oi, Vorenus mate, get your arse down to the baaffs on the Aventine, we'll grab some birds and grub, have a larf and go mental, aaaarghl!".

Plus, there's lots of gratuitous nudity. Always a bonus.