My previous pleadings for help with my awful blog design has won a runner-up spot in the Jingle All The Way contest sponsored by Lara at Designed By Lara!
I think we can all agree that even though I didn't win the grand prize, any little bit can only improve matters around here ... I will keep you posted as to what happens next!
Many thanks to Lara for running the contest!
I have finally begun to understand why people that I know and love, who are my friends, family and colleagues, appear to have fallen into the habit of stopping conversations in mid-sentence whenever I happen by. It's a development I've noticed happening more and more often recently, but never gave much thought to ... until now.
I was working at Cedar Creek yesterday and, as luck would have it, the very talented potter Tim Turner was firing his work in the wood kiln (that's Tim up there on the left).
He is the newest resident artist at the gallery but has already proven to be an invaluable asset, and I'm not saying that just because he feeds me lunch at least once a week (although he does, and it's marvelous, as he verges on master chef territory. And yes, I am kissing up; if you ever tried his Thai shrimp rolls you would, too). He is a very nice person, witty, and always quick to lend a hand to those in need. I mean look at him, doesn't he just look nice? That's 'cause he is.
Anyway, he was firing up the kiln and had managed to get the help of Brad Tucker, another obscenely talented resident potter at Cedar Creek. My house is full-to-the-brim with his work and I just bought a ton more for Christmas, that's how good he is. Brad is one of my favorite people in the world; he is extremely funny and a very generous man. Okay, so you probably can't get that from this picture, because in this picture he is telling me to quit taking his picture already, but trust me, he's a mensch.
Tim had also persuaded a friend his, the lovely Ruth, to pitch in as well. I have met her a couple of times and liked her a lot. She is a Brit - well, she's Welsh, but to us Yanks they're all the same - and while I don't have a picture of her, she is lovely.
It was a beautiful day and I decided to wander down to the kiln, say hello, admire their handiwork, and briefly enjoy the company of three swell people. As I got nearer, I just caught the tail end of a sentence from Tim that sounded something like, " ...dressed up like the Indian from the Village People". Ruth, who is a therapist by trade, then said, "You know, dreams are merely reflections of different aspects of ourselves". Tim did a kind of double-take and then he and Brad both laughed uproariously at her response. I admit I was intrigued and being a nosy git, I had to ask what in the world they were talking about.
Ruth opened her mouth and had just managed to get out the words, "It seems Tim had a dream abou-" when Tim jumped up and said, in a serious tone of voice one might use to warn of imminent danger, like say if a rabid bear was about to leap out and attack her, "Watch out Ruth! She's a blogger!", which of course stopped the story cold just as it was getting interesting.
Ruth was neatly sidetracked into asking me questions about blogging; "but why do you blog? what do you get out of it? who do you blog about? who reads it?" and thus the whole subject of Tim's dream was dropped. Nicely played, sir, nicely played.
It dawned on me that my friends, family and colleagues might worry I'll write about something they're really not that keen for me to share with the internets and maybe that's why they go schtum when I'm around. Either that or they think I'm a nosy butthead which, if I'm honest, is an equally valid conclusion. But heck, I would never deliberately talk about something here that I thought would betray a confidence or hurt their feelings in any way. At least not without warning them first. Or if it was funny. Or if it ... well, never mind, maybe they have a point.
As for Tim's dream, I did eventually get to hear the story and Brad and I spent a couple of enjoyable minutes making it sound much worse than it was and generally making fun because - let's face it - that's what friends are for, right? And just between us, it was a totally boring, very innocuous dream, really it was, even if it did involve cowboy chaps and an Indian headdress!
Thanks to a heads up from Bettejo (and "jo" is pronounced with a "j", people) I am now all excited at the chance to win a new design for my blog! I think you will all agree the current one is pretty sucky and if you've been reading NMSC for any length of time, you will know how much I DETEST all things blog design related. I have tried it, I can't do it, I know when I'm whipped and need some professional help!
So I'm throwing my virtual hat into the ring and entering the "Jingle All The Way" contest being run by Lara at Designed By Lara. She has already created quite a few fetching sites for other bloggers and is kindly offering template-challenged people such as myself a chance for a makeover. The rules state that I must tell you why I want a new template. Hmmm. I think it's pretty obvious myself, all you have to do is look at it! But in the spirit of competition here goes!
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Dear Lara,
I would dearly love to win a new blog template because of the following reasons:
1) The current version you see now is the result of three weeks of constant tinkering, breaking the page, reverting back to what I had before, tinkering some more, crying a little, breaking the page, reverting back to what I had before, screaming and throwing things at my husband in a rage because I kept breaking the page, tinkering and finally giving up and settling for what I have.
2) After three weeks of aforementioned tinkering, I still could not manage to fix the code so that you could click on my header to get back to my home page. This made me very angry in the face and yes, depressed. Not to mention the fact that my husband felt sorry for me and bought Not Much Southern Comfort.com so I could have a better blog, but I haven't a clue what to do with it yet, so it's been put to one side for now. Unless I win a new blog design!
3) My life is a state of constant chaos - I have four children, too many dogs, a live-in mother and a husband who's purpose in life is to borrow my car keys and forget where he put them. Having a beautifully designed neat and tidy blog, one that actually does what it's supposed to do, one that thoughtfully reflects the real me, would go a looooong way towards helping me stay sane.
4) I had a very sad and tragic childhood. I was forced to walk uphill to school, both ways, every day, we slept in a cardboard box on the side of the road and we were grateful for it, I was so unpopular I had to wear a pork chop around my neck just to get the dogs to play with me, and I was once spanked by a monkey!
Okay, I made the last one up (except for the bit about being spanked by a monkey, that part is true) but I was starting to get into the groove...
I have to say Lara, and I hope this won't reflect too badly on my entry, but it seems you have a slight sadistic streak. Asking me, an admitted computer imbecile, to embed a picture on the sidebar of my main blog bar......at least I think that's what you said, I'm not really sure, I kind of went into a coma after seeing "incomprehensible code=blah blah blah" in your instructions of what to do ..... is just this side of mean. Me likey that about you.
So in summation, please pick me! Please, please, pleeeease!
Yours sincerely,
Honeysuckle Rose
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And before I forget and seem ungrateful ....
I am slowly catching up from my trip last week - Pawhealer at the previously mentioned A Spiritual Dog Blog passed on the "Be The Blog" badge to me about the same time she tagged me for the 7 things that annoy me task.
What is it? Well, I am going to totally steal the quote from Paw's page "[it] really sums up what a successful blogger does. And what I mean by successful is that they make it their own, stay with it, are interactive with their readers, and just plain have fun."
Sometimes I wonder if people actually read this damn thing, not that it would make any difference to me, haha! But it's so nice to find out a few like it enough to comment occasionally. Many thanks ....it's extremely gratifying to get a nod of appreciation from a fellow blogger!
Many thanks to Bettejo at A Bead A Day who thinks I am fabulous and passed this on to me! If you have never read her blog, please stop what you're doing right now and go do so. She is very funny, extremely open in what she writes about, AND she makes absolutely beautiful jewelry. While you're there, don't forget to buy something!
I would in turn like to pass it along to my pal Vito at The Long Road To Priesthood. He is chronicling his mid-life decision to change careers and pursue a religious life. I am most sincere when I say I don't believe you'll find a more moving and thought-provoking account of a spiritual journey. He is an exquisite word-smith and he has killer taste in music!
The next person I pass the "fabulous" tag along to is Zesty at Zesticle.com mainly because he is fabulous and has a devilish sense of humor (me likey that a lot). Plus, I suspect he would loath getting such a (pink) award, which is an added bonus that gives me just a little bit of pleasure. I just wish he would post more often!
We're making a stab at potty training The Boy, but overall it's not going so well.
He has made it clear that under no circumstances will he do anything in the potty, not even for an M&M, so obviously he's serious. I had been hoping that bribery would work, but this kid has an iron will. He seems to feel he's proven himself on the potty already and he's moving on to a new phase.
Unfortunately, that new phase is peeing in a cup. A Dixie Cup to be precise. And to answer your next question, no - a Dixie Cup is NOT designed to hold all the liquid a 3 year old bladder can produce. But it doesn't stop there, lord no! He has also made up his mind that his sisters should pee in Dixie Cups, too, and gets quite angry when they refuse. He is what you might call "a little bugger". So, no more Dixie Cups in the house; we are a Dixie Cup free zone now. I dread to think what his next innovation in potty training will be....
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On a different note, I am pleased to find that Stephen Fry is blogging now. If you don't want to follow the link, he's a very famous actor, comedian and novelist in the UK and was the comedy partner of Hugh Laurie (you probably know Hugh Laurie better as Dr. House from the popular TV show 'House'). He is an extremely intelligent, witty and erudite gentleman and reading his blog is more akin to attending an hour long seminar at some highbrow joint like Cambridge. But it's well worth the effort, raising the internet essay bar very high, in my humble opinion.
So clear some time in your schedule (pronounced the British way please) and go forthwith to learn more about The Adventures Of Stephen Fry.
Question: Just where the hell have you been? It's been more than two weeks since you posted anything! You suck!
Answer: Yes, yes, I suck .... and NOT in the good way. After the last round in Court, we have all taken turns being sick with whatever illness the kids bring home from school. Colds, stomach virus, colds .... having two extra disease carriers in the house seems to have upped the sickness ratio. They don't feel well for about two minutes; the rest of us suffer for days, if not weeks. It's fun being a parent!
Question: But you still could have posted something. Don't give me that crap!
Answer: Ah, now this is a good news/bad news excuse! The bad news was that my computer has been slowly dying on me piece by piece for the last few months. It gave up the ghost last week after I shot it in a rage. Haha, just kidding, I only kicked it around a bit! The good news is that I at last have a spanking new Dell. It's a DIM E520, Intel Pentium D Processor 915 with Dual Core (2.8GHz) with a 17inch flat screen monitor! What does all that mean? I have no idea, but it's sweet! It also came with a Kodak EasyShare 12X Zoom Digital Camera as a bonus. When I figure out how to use the damn thing, I will post a picture.
Question: Girlfriend, you walking a thin line, but I'll let you off this time. So what's it like having four children in the house full-time?
Answer: Fun fun fun! Who would have thought that four sweet kids could sound like a herd of enraged elephants rampaging across the African Delta ALL DAY LONG? Not to mention the excessive slamming of doors and the constant shouting! And that's from the adults! I'm joking of course, the adults try not to slam doors. It's fun being a parent!
Question: Your grocery bill must be enormous!
Answer: Not really, since we splurged and bought the milk cow. It was cheaper than buying 2 gallons of milk every day and I'm told that churning butter is a good upper body workout!
Question: How is The Boy these days?
Answer: He is going through a phase - he takes off all his clothes and pees everywhere if given half a chance. We sure hope he makes it through this phase alive! Fingers crossed!
Question: And how is Grandma?
Answer: Yesterday, I noticed her looking at The Boy funny; I hadn't seen that look in her eyes since I was a small child and she used to whack my butt with a bolo bat! Or her shoe! Come to think of it, she would whack my butt with whatever was handy! Of course, that was before it was considered "bad" to beat children. But I know she wouldn't beat him, he's too quick for an old lady to catch!
Question: Anything else going on we should know about?
Answer: I'm taking the Praxus II exam at the beginning of June. If I pass, I can get a teaching job. If I don't pass I am being tossed out of the house! It's a win/win situation.
Question: Who is Carlos M. Gutierrez?
Answer: He is the U.S. Secretary of Commerce. What he does is WAY more important than Paris Hilton going to jail! Jeez, what is wrong with you people?! Although, now that you mention it, Paris Hilton going to jail is kinda HOT in an extremely hilarious way.
Thank you all for your input on my crappy template and suggestions on how to fix it. I will embark on Round 2 of messing with the damn thing soon. Until then, I have at least changed the black background. I give in and have to admit that since I got bifocals a couple of weeks ago, it's been hurting my eyes, too.
Hope that helps a little!
In a fit of bloggeristic enthusiasm a month or so ago, I submitted my blog for a review from So Many Blogs, So Little Time.
The reviewer absolutely DETESTED my template, but that's totally understandable. I hate my template, too. However, I'm pretty sure I've established that we're all stuck with it until someone takes pity on me and makes me a new one for free. So until that happens, the white type on the black screen stays! I REFUSE to mess with it again; if you agree with her and don't like it, I suggest stocking up on the Tylenol.
Happily, she liked what I wrote, so huzzah for me!
I've had to work this weekend and have had other exciting stuff going on, like having a roof put on the house, and obsessively using my new Hoover Floormate, and.....and......and.....
Okay, to be honest, I just don't have anything to say today. I have come across other blogs that have made me feel ginormous amounts of blog envy. They are so good, I have to tell you about them so I can move on already in the blogosphere of life.
First up is Wife In The North. She was originally from London and her husband moved her and the family up to Northumberland. For you non UK readers, that's the ass-end of nowhere in in north of England. I feel a definite connection. Oh, and she's been offered a book deal - go Wife In The North!
Second, let me recommend Dixie's Diner. This blog has a great design and the entire thing is so well-integrated it makes me want to stamp my feet in a jealous hissy fit. She makes me laugh; she also put eye shadow on her boy and posted the picture. Absolutely a woman after my own heart!
Next up is The Musings Of A New Millennium Nigga. He actually uses his webcam for something constructive - ranting about the MAN - posts it on YouTube and then reposts them on his blog. Got that? I don't! He has a lot of style and way more nerve than I do...but it works and I love it. Yo dawg!
Last but not least, please go visit Confessions Of A Pioneer Woman. This is one of the best blogs I have ever come across. She is a wife and mother who lives on a working cattle ranch and ... oh, just go read it yourself. Her life is like a some sort of Danielle Steel novel/made for TV movie and she takes gorgeous pictures to boot. I feel life envy when I read it, forget about the blogging. Who knew people like this existed?
Okay, I'm done. The DAYS I have spent reading "how-to" blog websites, reading forums and asking questions, screwing the thrice damned code up, starting over and doing it again; I am totally unfit for this stuff.
Let's be brutally honest with each other, computer code, it's not you, it's me. I think we need to take a break ...'cause sorry, I'm just not that into you.
So this is it. I made my own header from scratch and got it onto the page (don't ask me to repeat that process, I couldn't). Somehow, the final result does NOT reflect the wailing and gnashing of teeth that has gone into this production. Thanks Dazd for your suggestion to join Blogger Talk and thanks to the lovely SO for his help. I will stop thanking people before the orchestra plays me off stage...
If you have any feedback, please feel free to comment. However, I would like to think that you love me for who I am, not for what I look like...*pout*
I will continue to tweak it as I learn more. But not tonight.
Tonight, I drink.
Hurrah, I always want to spend a day off work fixing a blog!
I am messing with the template, so if it looks funny or changes from one minute to the next, that's me doing things wrong and reverting back to square one.
I am trying to learn how to work with the Blogger template to make my blog better, but it's like giving a monkey a typewriter, etc. It's a glacial process, mainly because I seem to lapse into a coma whenever I sit down and look at it. And I thought I could do it in a couple of days. What an idiot.
One thing I have discovered about myself; I can either write the blog or learn how to do this stuff. My brain can't handle both at the same time.
Have I mentioned how much I hate computer code? It's better than a sleeping pill. I get the very same angsty anxiety-ridden feeling doing this as I used to get back in Calculus class (and I have a vague blocked-out memory of that ending badly).
The SO has tried to help me, but as usual, my "computer tutorial" degenerated into him getting frustrated because I don't understand, and me shouting at him to stop shouting at me. Fun stuff!
The SO has not been available to fix my graphics (I mean WHAT am I paying him for?), so I am vegging out on the Academy Awards instead. I have just cheerfully watched someone I used to work with a LOT back in the day, when I had a telly career, losing the best picture Oscar to The Departed, so I am full of self-satisfied schadenfreude. Color me a bitchy cow.
In an effort to make this blog less visually boring, I made it worse, dammit, and am forced to revert back to Blogger's crappy default template. YES, I saved the old one, NO it's not working; the hamsters inside this machine seem to have downed tools. I may actually have to learn HTML, a chore I have ducked out of learning repeatedly, despite being lectured numerous times by the tremendously computer geeky SO.
I hope to have it fixed by tomorrow night, as I have to work all day tomorrow. Perhaps my live-in computer geek ...er, I mean the absolutely lovely SO, will take pity on me and help.
I had to change my address; it was nothing sinister, just bloggery-type details. I am slowly getting the hang of all this technical stuff, thanks for bearing with me!
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