Embarrassment ...

...sympathy, extreme annoyance and a vague hint of fear. It's amazing the feelings that can overwhelm you when confronted by a very pissed-off fat lady.

Allow me to explain.

I work at a small-town craft gallery; it's a family run business that has been trading for nigh on 40 years. We sell pottery, glass, jewelry, mixed-media, textiles and much more. It's all hand-made; quite a few items are created in local studios, right next to the store, by very talented artists. I think one of the elements for its success has been that the customer is always right. We bend over backwards to deliver the goods and service that people want, and I think we do a pretty darn good job of it.

Last Sunday I had quite a bewildering retail experience. A customer came up to the counter to purchase a bracelet. As my colleague and I rang up and bagged her selection, the lady stared at us intently and then angrily yelped, "Is there a problem with the pewter?". We jumped, startled at her tone, and confused by her question. "Huh?" I said in my most intelligent manner, for I am good at that sort of thing.

"The pewter. Over there. I was holding a pewter hippo and my mother saw you laughing at me because of my size. Ha ha, a fat lady holding a hippo. I get it, I know I'm fat, but that's uncalled for. I mean, I don't care, I'm used to it, but it really bothered my mother!" she concluded in a shriek. I stopped and looked at her. REALLY looked at her. And she WAS fat. No, she was beyond fat, she was obese. Her rear-end was like a ledge on which you could place a formal table-setting, slide a chair up under it and have a five course meal.

My colleague and I looked at each other in astonishment, as neither one of us had made any comments, nor laughed at anything, probably all day. This would be due mainly to my colleague's irritating OCD tendencies, which goad her to do things like continuously re-arrange paper bags while I hiss at her, "Stop it, LEAVE IT! It looks fine!"

We found ourselves lamely apologizing for something we DIDN'T do, because *the customer is always right*, and feeling extremely embarrassed for both us and her. The thing is, she was convinced that she was the butt (pardon the pun) of a joke and any denial on our part would have been totally unconvincing.

Should we have not apologized and told her, "Look you're really fat, sorry love, people can't help but notice it, don't be such a sensitive cow?" No, I didn't think so, either. In the end, she left somewhat mollified, while we sat around and moped the rest of the day, feeling rather upset about the whole sorry episode.

Did we do the right thing? And what is the proper etiquette when one is accused of making an insulting comment of which you are not guilty? That's uncharted territory for me, as in most cases I have made the insulting comment and am just patiently waiting to take credit for it.

It's a philosophical exercise for better minds than mine. So what do you think?