The Yanks ... I Mean, The British Are Coming!

As I settled in to watch the new fall season TV shows I had TiVo'd last night, it finally dawned on me that many of them had one thing in common; they all starred British actors doing American accents. Or "Britishers", as the US media increasingly continues to label them for some reason, which annoyingly makes them sound like some kind of cute breed of hunting dog.

Casting Brits in shows over here is nothing new, I know, but I have to admit I have struggled with some of the choices made by Hollywood over the years. Probably the most famous example is the multi-talented Angela Lansbury.


As a little girl, I loved her in Bedknobs and Broomsticks and when I got older, I really loved her turn as the bloodthirsty pie shop owner in the musical Sweeney Todd. But as the sweet, crime-solving grannie in the ubiquitous Murder She Wrote? Not so much ...

Al 'swears-a-lot' Swearengen, the evil, rotten motherf*cking bad guy on Deadwood is Ian McShane?! But...but...but...he's the dashing antiques-dealer-divvie-with-a-heart-of-gold Lovejoy, for chrissakes!

I kept waiting for Al to reveal that he's actually a nice guy and save the day, or at least admire the provenance of the pianoforte in the saloon, but sadly he just kept pistol whipping the whores in the whorehouse.

Hugh Laurie as the curmudgeonly doctor House?!!! This really, really gets to me, as much as I love the show. If you didn't know, he was already quite famous as a comedian in England, starring with comedy partner Stephen Fry in their own sketch series and the excellent Jeeves and Wooster, not to mention his hilarious turn as the total buffoon George in the Blackadder series. His American accent, in my opinion, is still a little dodgy, and I keep expecting him to shout out "What-ho Jeeves!" at any minute. But I suppose it's only a fair trade for Dick Van Dyke's excruciating Cockney accent in Mary Poppins.

So what fresh faces have we got amongst this year's offerings? Let's see, Journeyman stars Kevin McKidd, who's actually Scottish, but we won't hold that against him. He was fantastic as Lucius Vorenus in Rome and is the only reason I decided to give this new show a try. His Yank accent is decent, although he tends to mumble, but sadly the show is a poor man's version of Quantum Leap. They should have just made another series of Rome for him, dagnabbit.

Then there's Anna "first-lesbian-kiss-on-a-UK-soap" Friel, starring as 'Chuck' in Pushing Up Daisies. It's an excellent dark comedy and she's very good in it - you would never know she was English. But I still look at her and think, lesbian! And Scouse lesbian at that. It's sad but true; if you break through in an iconic role in showbusiness, typecasting is a real problem, folks.

In the remake of The Bionic Woman, the title role is played by beautiful Michelle "also-had-a-lesbian-kiss-on-a-UK-soap" Ryan. Hey, wait just a sapphic minute! Is Hollywood only willing to cast English women if they've played a hottie dyke on a soap? Is this some pervy casting director's private little game? What's up with that?

At any rate, her accent isn't bad, but as for acting chops, she's blown off the radar by on-screen rival Katie Sackhoff, who is American and has never lesbian kissed anyone that I am aware of, so she's clearly lucky to have gotten the job.

Then there's Damian Lewis, who stars in Life. Thankfully, he's a man and was spared having to pass the seemingly mandatory overseas-lesbo-kissing test required for the ladies. But here's a twist - I had no idea he was British, nor did I ever suspect! I mean, c'mon, he was Capt. Winters, the ultimate American good guy in the WWII drama Band of Brothers!!!!

From what I understand, the rest of the cast - even those pervy casting directors - didn't know he was English either, so good is his adopted accent. He actually sounds like he's from a distinct region in the US, rather from some undetermined monotone spot in the mid-Atlantic (hello Hugh Laurie, I'm talking to you). A tip of the hat to you, Damian. If your career ever flounders, you can open an elocution academy in LA.

I suppose I am in the minority here in the US in being able to not only recognize stars from the UK but to have actually seen their work over there and over here. But I'm telling you, if any of these new shows are hits, we can expect even more of an invasion from across the pond as those pesky Britishers trample each other to get over here to steal our women, land, and tea and take our jobs....

This alarming trend must be nipped in the bud immediately before some dim bulb at NBC starts scraping the bottom of the television barrel and offers Jade Goody a contract. Yikes!