The Confederate States Of America

I was flipping channels last night and landed on a film called The C.S.A. (The Confederate States Of America). I'm a bit of a history buff and at first thought it was a real documentary about the Confederate side of the Civil War. But it soon became clear that it was a "mocumentary", answering the question, what if the South had won? The film, made by Kevin Wilmott and produced by Spike Lee, is a satirical look at what would have happened to this country had the North lost, Abraham Lincoln had been hounded to Canada, and we made slavery mandatory back in 1865.

It is a very well done slice of alternative history, filmed in the irresistible style of Ken Burns. There were the eloquent historians talking to camera, old black and white photos, "historical" documents, clips from fictional movies such as "I Married An Abolitionist!", and the now de riguer celebrities reading letters in a very moving way. In this reality, The C.S.A. conquered Mexico and most of South America, was allied with Hitler during WWII, and Canada was the home of Hollywood and rock and roll.

One of the more amusing conceits was the inclusion of "commercials" from the present day pushing products like Niggerhair Cigarettes, Darky Toothpaste, and Sambo motor oil, and urging you to visit The Coon Chicken Inn, to name but a few. Very clever, I thought to myself - until the end of the film when it was revealed that these were, in fact, all real products and places from the 19th and 20th centuries. Then it wasn't quite so funny anymore.




As a matter of fact, Darky Toothpaste was still being manufactured in Asia until 1978, when Proctor and Gamble bought it and changed the name to Darlie. And although it wasn't shown in the film, I did find that there is a condom still being sold in Japan called Power Black Color Rubber, with the tag line "Keep it real. Keep on faith. Keep it going. Piece! So cool. Respect."

Right.

I'm late to this party - the film came out in 2005, the DVD in 2006, and only now is it being shown on cable. But if you get the chance to watch it, do. I bet Aunt Jemimah and Uncle Ben would probably really appreciate it.