I Love The Smell Of Fresh Hypocrisy In The Morning

So today we will find out if New York state Govorner Elliot Spitzer will resign after the big news came out this weekend that he was a frequent client of prostitutes. Normally I would shrug, shout at the telly, "who cares? let him shag whoever he wants!" and get back to watching American Idol reruns. However, it seems that the exalted Gov. Spitzer made his name busting up the very same prozzie rings he has been caught happily spending over $80,000 on. Ooops!

So I am actually interested in this case, because it falls into my favorite political/religious category of "the insufferable crusading know-it-all who's convinced YOU are a sinner and wants to tell you why you're gonna burn in hell while he's proudly standing on his own holier than thou pedestal that is actually made of extremely watery and unstable clay".

Or to put it in a more reader friendly way; haha, you are a big fat hypocrite!

There seems to be no end to these guys. It's like a bizarre game of whack-a-mole, they just keep popping up!

Whap! Take that Jim "cancer on the body of Christ" Bakker. Whap! Begone Jimmy "I have sinned against you my Lord" Swaggert. Whap! Go away Ted "I'm a deceiver and a lier" Haggard. Whap! Bugger off Mark "I let the people down" Foley. Whap! Resign already Larry "wide stance" Craig.

The traits these type of people have in common are not political affiliations or religious beliefs but massive intolerance, breathtaking duplicity and sniveling apologies once they get invariably get caught with their pants down.

I have said it before and I'll say it again; show me someone who gets really worked up about sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll, who is profoundly afraid of gays, minorities or anyone who is just generally other and I'll bet you a dollar that when he gets home from a busy and tiring day of denouncing, he sweetly kisses his loyal and unsuspecting wife and then heads to his secret hideout, where he puts on a raunchy Snoop Dogg toon while he sparks up a doobie, washes his Vicodin down with a pint of Crown Royal, wriggles into his full body leather fetish suit complete with dog collar and leash, and happily waits for his Muslim worshipping African American tranny escort, Ms. Thang, to arrive and whip him into an ecstatic - yes, almost religious - frenzy.

Gotta go now, the Guv is getting ready to tell us why exactly he is such a deceitful gasbag, how sorry he is and how he has no choice but resign! Fun stuffs!

Oh yeah P.S.
The Colbert Report's headline last night on this story was "Spitz-er Swallows". I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my chair. Colbert for president!

**Update**

He feels remorse and wants to "atone for his private failings". Not even one glistening tear. Lame.



*hypocrisy jpeg courtesy of getreligion.org