It's Britney Ya'll!

Maybe it's another side-effect of coming off the Lexapro, but I find myself compelled to watch Britney Spears open the MTV music awards. I'm thinking I should have just gotten a prescription for Ambien instead. Okay, here she comes, shush!
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Wow. Okay, first impressions .....

It's a sucky song.

Oye vey! A young lady who had two children in rapid succession should not, I repeat, NOT squeeze herself into a tiny little bikini thingie unless she has been working out something other than her drinking arm. Yeesh. And please, skip the calf-high leather boots if you have calf fat. I'm just saying.

Lipsynching is hard, ya'll! It must be, as she just quit doing it towards the end of the song, and didn't even bother to pretend after that. Oh, she was moving her lips, but that was to count her "dance" steps. She looks bored/doped out of her skull, like some kind of low-end stripper from the local 'Doll House' that's WAY too close to a military base.

Pole dancers are soooo 2004.

Grabbing random dancer guy's crotch is no longer shocking; I believe it's actually her way of asking somebody on a date these days. I predict she will marry him in a couple of months.

I am relieved to see that - for once - she is not masticating a huge wad of gum like some kind of lobotomized cow.

Whew, it's over.

I don't think this is going to be the big comeback she was hoping for; I bet you a dollar to one of the dozen or so doughnuts she must have scoffed before taking the stage that she will be getting up to no good later tonight. What happens to Britney in Vegas, stays in the headlines!

Please god, let her be wearing underwear this time.